Focusing inward again.

I finally begin to the transition from having my emotions buffeted by world events to focusing again on my personal sphere. I feel almost guilty for doing so, but life couldn’t go on any other way.

My mother died somewhat unexpectedly a year ago today. I had wanted to visit the gravesite today, but I don’t think I’ll be able to get out of work in time to do so. The Professor said he’d go with me this weekend, though. I haven’t been there since the funeral last year.

Last night I once again was unable to spend more than about ten minutes on the computer before The Professor was complaining. This is a complete change of pace, and I’m not sure what to attribute it to. I suspect that much of it is due to the Professor’s new full time hours. Some if it seems to stem from simple basic insecurity, perhaps residual unease from last week. Regardless, I’ll just go with the flow for the time being. He suggested (much to my surprise) dinner on the balcony, so for the first time we ate outside, with candle light instead of electric. I’d made salmon, oven browned red skin potatoes, and salads, so it felt like a special occasion. (A special occasion that was marred only by each of the cats taking turns at the balcony door begging to come out, or fighting with each other for what they considered their rightful turn at the door so that they too could beg to go out.) Things progressed nicely from there, though I’m now paying for it with only five hours of sleep under my belt today. I’ve got to find a way to get that man started a little earlier in the evening if he has plans involving both of us. I don’t have his luxery of being able to go to bed at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning.

The Professor is going to have to let me have several hours one evening soon though, or I’m going to end up with a bunch of past due bill notices. If I don’t get a chance to pay some bills and reconcile my accounts soon, it’s going to get ugly.

The Professor and I are somewhat at odds over how the US should handle their response to last week. We’re also in disagreement as to how the site of the World Trade Center should be used in the future. I know this aggravates him, but I’m not going to back down just because he thinks differently. Doing that sort of thing is one of the reasons my marriage failed, and if I’m going to screw up a new relationship, it isn’t going to be because I kept making the same old mistakes. I’m content to let him think as he will, but he’s going to have to accept that I won’t always agree with him.