Another Life Lesson

I know a girl online. She’s witty, she’s smart, she’s talented, she’s absolutely full of joie de vivre. She graduated valedictorian from her high school, and was accepted at a prominent ivy league university, where she continues to do brilliantly in a very difficult curriculum. She’s got a high set of personal morals, and does not drink, smoke, or use drugs of any kind, even though some around her do. She’s still a virgin, waiting for the right guy. She has a quick sense of humor, she’s an incorrigible flirt, she’s quick to join in with any virtual fun and games that might be afoot. She’s recently found a wonderful guy, and they seem to be hitting it off very well together. Her mother was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor, and although she’s currently doing well, the family is still very concerned about her. She comes from abroad, and her mother wouldn’t let her leave school mid-semester to come visit when she had surgery, and it’s been very hard on the girl.

Recently she’s been having trouble with a guy who won’t take “no” for an answer. She works at an animal shelter weekends, and started talking with a guy who hung around there. He was interested in her, but she turned him down. He left her a present at her dorm door. She returned it. He shouldn’t have been able to get into her dorm, so with our encouragement she reported it to her dorm head. He left another present for her, and no one knows how he got into the dorm to do it. He found out she posts to our forum and some other forums, and left her messages at these places. The post on our board could easily be construed as threatening. She reported those to her school, and the police became involved. Her father was contacted, and flew in from abroad to be with her.

A stranger posted to our forum over the weekend. This stranger informed us that this was all a hoax, and that this girl has a history of wooing guys on the net and dumping them. I didn’t want to believe it. But discrepencies I’d previously noted and ignored pushed their way to the surface of my memory again. I started to snoop.

I checked the IP# she posted under months ago, when she was posting from abroad while in her senior year at a private girl’s high school. I checked her IP# from when she’s been posting from the ivy league school. The IP#’s are identical, both out of Virginia.

I’ve been taken in completely. By a kid less than half my age, if my guess is accurate. The girl hasn’t been by in several days. I half expect that, since she’s seen the post from the stranger that calls her a liar, that she won’t be back. I feel like I’ve lost a friend. And I feel a fool.

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  1. actually you shouldn’t feel like a fool… just wanted to believe in her …you know what I mean?!

    btw…great photos of the cats yesterday…I would love to own KFH…….

    I felt bad about your asthma though…but couldn’t help chuckling when you said KFH had the paws over his/her?? head.

    too cute

  2. Sorry to hear you were taken in. There are a lot of tall tale spinners out there. Could have done without the ”mom has a brain tumor bit”

    An Ivy Leaguer would be far to busy for the net.

  3. that’s a shame :-/

    i get annoyed that the internet gets such a bad name because of people like her and others, when there are hundreds of thousands of genuine people online for the ‘right’ reasons

  4. I mention this alot,,,my friend that was almost suicidal when his "online" love turned out to be a hoax,,,,but stories like these remind me and burn me up. Why do people do this? Why waste your time lying???

  5. My motto is don’t believe anything you read on the internet. In fact, I don’t believe you’re a salamander at all! KFH would have eaten you up a long time ago :o/

  6. I can’t find a good way to put this, so I’m going to stumble about. It’s not foolish to accept people at face value unless they’re trying to sell you something–something other than friendship, something that diminishes, rather than increases, you in the giving. Whatever you gave this girl is to your credit, karmically speaking, and it will be even more to your credit if you can prevent this episode (and similar ones) from causing you to deprive others of that trust. She’s the foolish one, really, riding on the regard for a person she is -not-. :/ But, then, I imagine you know all this already. {{hugs}}

  7. Could it be that she used the same computer abroad that she uses here in the states? Couldn’t she have brought it back with her?

    Thanks for your comments yesterday. Once again, you are the voice of reason. Don’t let one girl get you down. You’re anything but a fool, Sal.

  8. UGH. I will never understand why people feel the need to lie to others online. It just makes me sick to think of her making up stories for attention. *shaking my head in disbelief*

  9. That is the biggest problem with the Internet and being a trusting person. It is that type of person that gives it a bad name. She is the loser, she missed a good internet buddy in you. Have to compliment you on your great detective work with the IP addys. Try not to let it sour you too much.

  10. You set very high standards for yourself. And you invest a lot of yourself in your relationships. These are good qualities. It’s a shame that these are the qualities that are giving you pain. I was once fooled by a compulsive liar for whom I had great respect. It is very hurtful. And it’s almost worse than someone dying: It’s like that person never existed. I think that that former lesson has made me more wary of people. That wariness may be why I unconsciously kept an emotional distance from our "friend". Something just didn’t seem right.

    On the other hand, she may be legit.

  11. Wow. At least you were the honest and trusting one and you gave her better friendship than a person like her would ever be able to even receive or appreciate.

    Don’t let getting burned by one bad one shut you down inside!! You’re too special to let her mistake lock you out from your true friends.

    hugs to you!


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