Insomnia

I’ll get the depressing stuff over with first. Got a call from the Specialist’s office yesterday afternoon – they want to go ahead and do a bone marrow biopsy. It’s just one of those “we want to be sure” things, but there are certain blood disorders (I love a good euphemism) that could produce the symptoms I’m having. We really don’t believe I have any of those, but it is necessary to conclusively rule these out in order to proceed with my placement on the transplant list, so it’s got to be done. They squeezed it in between two other tests I’m having done next Tuesday. I look less and less forward to next Tuesday.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I woke up again at 2:00 a.m. this morning, unable to go back to sleep. I went to the last refuge of the exhausted – my computer – but the cable connection was down and I couldn’t get on the net. Instead I played several dozen games of Snood. The kitten stuck faithfully by my side, but even she got bored of my doings and eventually fell asleep on the floor next to me, looking like nothing so much as fresh roadkill. That was perhaps the most infuriating thing to happen while I was saddled with insomnia. Here I am playing freaking Snood to try and get tired, and the kitten falls asleep in an impossible possition (hind legs up in the air, shoulder to the left, paw across the face and another paw reaching out as if it were going to wake up and drag her across the room any second). Someday I will look back on this and laugh.

I did return to bed at 4:00. with the faithful cat-alarms going off at 5:00. I should be ashamed, but I stuffed both the kitten and the obeast into my computer room and went back to bed without feeding them. When I finally arose at 8:00 it appeared that they survived the trauma unharmed, though the stack of filing on my computer desk had seen better days. Serves me right.

I’ve decided to try and weed out the front enclosed garden. Even if it is too late to plant this year, I can at least make it look presentable. If I’m feeling rich and energenic, I’m going to buy lots of potted plants and just sent them around out there. It will look nice from the kitchen, and perhaps give me some small sense of accomplishment.

Tried to call the ex last night to tell him what was happening, but no answer at the house. I’m a bit pissed at him anyhow, because he made the flip comment to me “are you sure you aren’t pregnant” when I was telling him a little of what was happening to me before he went on his latest big camping trip. Still, I do not trust my sisters to get the story right, and I’d prefer he get the information first from me. Besides, if nothing else, it will be a small vindication to be able to tell him that I certainly am not pregnant, while adding a silent “you jackass” to the sentence.

I need reading material too. Some people have a date with destiny. I have one with Borders Books.