Adventures in Paracentesis

Well, another day, another paracentesis. This one was a little rougher than most. I was on the table for a little over two hours – the block wears off in about half an hour, so it got a bit uncomfortable. I was making jokes that I should come with a warning label “Caution: Contents under pressure” while Dr. Liver made the preparations to do the paracentesis. He countered with “All women should come with that warning label.” Then, moments later, when he inserted the needle, a fine stream of fluid shot across the room. As Dr. Liver got drain tube attached to the needle he agreed that these contents were indeed under pressure.

So you can imagine my disappointment when the flow stopped after four liters. We did everything … repositioned me, withdrew the needle slightly, tilted the table. Dr. Liver’s assistant simply couldn’t get the flow to start again. I felt like an idiot, because I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. This was exactly like what happened last time, and it was frustrating to think I’d go home with so much fluid left inside of me again.

Dr. Liver returned shortly thereafter though, and pulled the needle nearly all the way out. The flow started again, but it was only a trickle. And so I lay there for an hour and a half while another four liters trickled out. Grand total? Eight and four-tenths liters. The physical and emotional relief were overwhelming.

I spoke to Dr. Liver for a while about my dropping MELD score. He surprised me by being totally candid about the MELD. While he’s implied before that he didn’t like the system, he came right out and said it this time. He doesn’t like it, his fellow physicians don’t like it, and if he had his way I’d have been put into ICU when I was first diagnosed last August, and I probably would have had a new liver in a month or so. He then grumbled that it made no sense to have to wait until a patient was going into kidney failure before they qualified for a kidney.

Uh, say what? Taking a second look at the lab tests they use to calculate MELD scores, I can see exactly what he’s talking about. I don’t think I like where this is leading, though. So, like Scarlet O’Hara, I think I’ll just worry about it tomorrow. I don’t feel like thinking about this any more this afternoon.

On a more upbeat note, I’ve discovered a really good liver failure support group on the web. They’ve got a plethora of message boards to post on, and have regular chats scheduled Tuesday afternoons and Wednesday evenings. I won’t be able to do the Tuesdays, but I intend to drop in this Wednesday night and introduce myself. I look forward to talking to people who are going through the same thing I am. With luck, it will relieve some of the mental pressure that’s been building up in me lately.

I don’t want to be living my life as a potential liver recipient. I want to live as normally as possible, and have that be just an extra descriptor that someone might use when describing me. Lately though my mind seems to be obsessed with my liver, and it isn’t healthy. Having a place to talk freely about this mess once a week may help put things back into perspective for me.

In the “Adding Insult to Injury” department, I complained to Dr. Liver about the incessant itching I was still having on my abdomen, even after using the antihistamines he’d prescribed. He stopped, looked at the rash that’s been spreading across my tummy like s spreading pink and white ink stain that flakes when it dries, and pronounced “Looks like eczema.” Well, now that he mentions it, it sure as hell does look like eczema. It runs in the family, but I always thought I was exempt from that particular family curse. It would appear that my fickle skin was simply waiting for the worst possible moment to announce its susceptibility to me.

Oh well, I’ve got three cats sunning themselves in my computer room, and the sun is warming my back quite nicely as well. It’s cold out, but a beautiful day none-the-less. Spring is coming, I only have a four day work week, and I have the rest of the afternoon to rest up and do as I please. Let’s face it, even when things are crappy, life is still good.

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5 Comments

  1. I’m so glad you’ve found a support group! I hope that you have access to people at all points on the scale, so you can give as well as get help. I’m sure there are frightened folks just beginning who would benefit from your humor and grace.

    Meanwhile, I applaud your desire not to obsess. I do hope, however, that you allow yourself to sink into it once in a while. In my experience, nothing makes a thought take over your life like avoidance. Of course, that’s coming from an obsessive compulsive. Take it for what it’s worth.

  2. I stop in every once in awhile to read your entries, especially when I need something uplifting to read. Even though its terrible that you have this liver problem (sorry, I haven’t read far back enough to know what it exactly is), the entries I’ve read almost always end positively, despite the content before. Its truly inspirational and I wish you good luck. I also pray that by some miracle or even that you will be healed. I can’t possibly imagine going through what you go through. The MELD system sounds horrible. I agree with your doctor, why wait until kidney failure until giving a transplant? Then again, more people should be aware of organ donation and the shortage of these types of things. I hope people will open their eyes soon.

    Ondrea

  3. On ecezema (not sure if I spelled it right)…I have this too. DON’T scratch! I know this sounds obvious, but scratching spreads its. I know that its really hard but if you leave it alone it will eventually leave you and will probably leave for a long while. I haven’t had too many outbreaks.

  4. I am so glad to read that they were able to get all that fluid out of you. The support group sounds positive. The power of the Internet!

    I am keeping everything crossed that your liver arrives soon. Have your sisters done anything yet?

    (Yes, I know how you feel about this, but darn it, you need a liver.)

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