The Human Water Balloon

This has not been one of my better days.

The paracentesis went poorly. They only got five and a quarter liters out of me, and the anesthetic block wore off before they were done. Dr. Liver tried to reposition the needle to get a better flow going, but it didn’t work and he had to withdraw it completely. When he withdrew it, I bled rather profusely. Then, to ice my cake, when I tried to get off the table after I was all bandaged up, my back started spasming. If I were a horse, they’d shoot me.

In an effort to get that elusive point to bump my MELD up from an 18 to a 19 I’m being put on a third diuretic. Dr. Liver wants me back very regularly for bloodwork now, though, since we’re pushing my kidneys to the limits of what they can reasonably be expected to endure. The moment I show any sign of potential kidney failure, he’s yanking me off the third diuretic.

He told me that the Big City Hospital called him last week to discuss putting me on the “Needs List”. This is a list designed to get people livers faster for those who need livers but aren’t high enough on the MELD list to qualify for one immediately. The catch? This is where the “less than perfect” livers go. I immediately nixed the idea, and Dr. Liver agreed with my decision whole-heartedly. He feels this list is appropriate for the very old who are awaiting a transplant and for people with cancer. Both he and I agree that There’s absolutely nothing to be gained by my going this route though.

On the way home I stopped and bought myself my primroses. I searched through the flats at the garden store for nearly fifteen minutes, looking for the one with the most colors in it. I found one with purples, yellows, pinks, deep reds, a creamsickle orange, and white in it. I had hoped to plant them today, but I’m forbidden to do anything that even approximates physical labor for 24 hours because of the danger of my beginning to bleed again. So I set my flat of primroses by the glass door in the kitchen, under a PVC lawn table so that they’re a little sheltered. This should give them a chance to harden up a little bit before I plant them. With luck, they’ll go into the ground this weekend.

I wish I’d stopped for a water ice on the way home. I could use the pick-me-up.