Bioterrorism Strikes Home
Alert Status – RED: Severe risk of terrorist attacks.
Yes, boys and girls, it’s been confirmed. My body has yet again launched a surprise attack on poor unsuspecting, innocent ol’ me. Prior unprovoked assaults on me have been executed by my heart, immune system, vascular system, peroneal tendon (that one was a particularly nasty sneak attack) and liver. Most of these terroristic offensive operations by rebellious body parts have been put down using ground troops and chemical weapons of mass destruction, but the liver did require a tactical surgical strike as well.
Experts called in to review and analyze the evidence of the last incident have confirmed that a disc in my neck has turned rogue. A small explosion, probably in the vicinity of C6-C7, has resulted in temporary damage to the lines of communication between my right arm and my control center. It has also been verified that original attempts at containment and clean-up have had only limited success.
Sophisticated viewing equipment will be brought in Monday to visualize the damage and ascertain the exact location of the blowout, and the extent of the blast zone. We anticipate that physical therapy coupled with palliative chemical intervention will resolve the sequella to this particular confrontation, but a surgical strike in response to this attack cannot be ruled out. Permanent resolution cannot be expected to come for weeks or months.
Current responses include a twenty-day aggressive course of steroids to control inflammation, and some heavy hitting pain medication (four times the dose originally prescribed for me). Reinforcements may be called in if these original troops fail to hold their ground against the Godless Forces of Evil that currently hold my neck hostage.
They offered to assign a morale officer to my case. I politely declined. I have too many white coats stomping around on my battlefield as it is. Any more, and I might as well just call it an American Medical Association convention and offer continuing education credits.
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live.
-Dorothy Parker
Dorothy, what a nut!
Wow. I hope the therapy helps and the knife stays in a galaxy far, far away.
Blessings…
Y
I wish I had the power to make you well…
I can only picture you in my mind that way
/super duper hug/
btw….creative way of writing about your health
Oh wow… I was so hoping for a much easier solution to your most recent physical ailment. Having spent over 3 years on Cortisone myself in the distant past for severe inflammation, I know the side effects such drugs can cause, especially when taken at large doses, as were mine, and I assume yours will be. I’ll be cheering you on and hopefully you will at least be able to gain back some sort of comfort soon, if not a fix.
Oh dear… seems like right ol warzone going on.
I hope this will clear soon, I think you’ve had way more than your fair share of these attacks.
Päivi
PS
Love that Parker poem!
You ever feel like an on going experiment?
((((((Sal))))))
i’m weary for you just reading that. nothing else to say except i’m in awe of how you handle it all. you are one tough woman.
*sigh* I feel terrible for you. I had a disk problem a few years ago due to a dance with the neighbors Rott. and like and idiot, I chose chiropractic with no pain meds.
TAKE PAIN MEDS WITH RELISH (so long as there is no prob with the liver). I had wondered about the extra short course of steroids. They are truly wonderful for relieving the inflammation but hard on the stomach *sigh*.
I hope your progress is swift and uncomplicated. I will give you hugs now that you are on Tha Good Stuff.
Take care, dear lady. I will be rooting for you.
Bobbi
Dude…Bummer!
The Sophisticated viewing equipment won’t make you glow will it? That would be totally bogus!
OK, I’ve had enough of Bill & Ted for the day now.
Hope all goes smoothly and it is minor.
Alli
It’s weird how your creativity spikes with physical adversity. I wonder if that’s why Van Gogh sliced his ear….
LOL @ Dorothy Parker!
I’m glad they at least loaded you up on pain meds…honestly, this lastest problem is really unfair, you have had your share and more.
(Thanks for your last comment…I still remember you asking me what the difference between diffusion and osmosis wayyyy back.)
You really need a holiday "down under" I tell you!
Never heard of anyone in the southern hemisphere having such a bad run. It’s a omen… get the anti inflammatories in you and come visit!!
((((gentle hugs))))))
ck
xoxox
ps…reading material arrived??
Even when you make me cry, you make me laugh.
It was The Apple Dumpling Gang. I was hoping to find One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing or No Deposit/No Return, but you just can’t find those two anywhere.
The rental was originally for #3 and his sleep-over friend last weekend, but admittedly I rented it so I could watch it with them.
As for the animated shows, they are all too old for the older ones, but one of the family’s current favorites of all our DVD’s is Lilo & Stitch, followed closely by Finding Nemo. I would watch Lilo & Stitch over and over just for the line about the dog finding the chainsaw.
Alli
Actually, Sal, thanks for that. That’s what my roommate and I discovered after extensive internet searching, but I didn’t know about the ajoining councils! Thanks!
I hope the alert status goes down, soon. Maybe green…
I’m not sure if you understand with the word bootleg the same thing as I do. I’m talking about live recordings of concerts. All the stuff that I CAN buy from the stores, I do buy but since I can’t go to shows, I just trade with other fans, or am trying to start doing that. It’s not as good as seeing her live in concert though but it’s the only thing I have now :).
I do admit to downloading Tori’s b-sides and other more rare material on-line BUT whenever I see one of the singles in a store, I do buy it. 🙂
I hope your bioterrorists relax in the weekend and let you rest a bit!
cur
RYC: I guess that just goes to prove that humans aren’t the only dumb critters on the planet. Gene pool, indeed…….