Vegetation

Serendipity is weird. And yes, this ties back to that “What tree are you this morning?” question that I’ve been playing with for four days now. Or is it five? I’ve lost track.

I hit upon the answer this morning. Out of the blue, I knew what the right answer was, and why. But then I had to go and ruin it by looking it up.

I’ll start from the wrong point, just to make my point. If you do a search on “What kind of tree am I?” or “What kind of tree are you?”, you will end up at one of dozens of sights that contain this very same information. Oh, the layouts and pictures and links are different, but the text has been copied and recopied so many times that had this been a photocopy, Xerox would be bigger than Bill Gates. I just picked this one as an example because the layout was less mystic and cluttered than some.

It’s a tree horoscope site, happy to provide you with your tree sign. It tells you the tree, and why it represents you. It happily informs you that anyone born between May 1st and May 14 has no self-confidence, and those born between October 4th and October 13 don’t forgive.

I did not come across this site looking for an oracle to tell me what tree I am. I came across this site because I was looking for information on the hornbeam tree, also known as American Ironwood. I nearly allowed this site to ruin my sudden insight of this morning though. The tree I had independently decided was mine had already been assigned to me by these cretins.

There, under June 4 through June 14th falls this factoid:

HORNBEAM TREE (the Good Taste) – of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Insert rude sound here. Whoever wrote that never met a hornbeam tree.

Some facts here. I grew up in an area where hornbeams are called “iron wood”. There’s a reason for the nickname. They tend to be scrubby, understory trees in the woodlands around here that refuse to be budged. You can dull an axe on them, and you can take all day to handsaw through one. They aren’t pretty, but by damned they are opinionated trees.

I’ve seen them done up bonsai style, and it suits them, in a way. It’s certainly the best way to keep one captive. A good bonsai fights back, which is what gives it character.

The best summary I’ve found for an ironwood is here: Ohio State University: Carpinus – Hornbeam. The last paragraph says it best:

The wood is tough, close-grained, heavy, and strong. It is sometimes selected for use for levers, tool handles, wooden cogs, mallets, wedges, etc. The tree is of little commercial importance and often occupies space in the woods that should be utilized by more valuable kinds of trees if the trees are being grown for timber.

Yup, that’s me. I have my own value. Take it or leave it. You want a good, strong, reliable handle? I’ll hold up under wear. Yeah, I’ll end up looking worn. But I’m still utilitarian.

I love the line “The tree is of little commercial importance”. Is that straight out of a college forestry course or what? Actually, historically, the ironwood is reputed to have had a pretty big impact on who built and farmed where in the northeastern US. The trees were little and scraggly, but they weren’t worth the work it would take to get rid of them. Easier to build the road/house/field a little to the left than to try and take out an ironwood. Convenient to have a couple around, though, in case your axe handle needed replacing. Just be prepared to spend all day replacing your axe handle.

So go ahead, Life. Mow me over. Herbicide me. Even decorate with me, if you must. I’m not a big player, and never will be. But cross paths with me, and you’ll have reason to remember. And if you respect me, I might even be of some service to you.

Hornbeam and I are not about looks. Neither of us either had a chance, though you can dress both of us up if you have to. It takes a feat of bonsai to make either of us ornamental. Hornbeam and I are about strength, durability, and practicality, with just a hint of obtuseness. We don’t stand upright on mighty mountains, and we don’t stand guard over smaller trees. That’s a job for sequoias and ents. I know some sequoias and ents, and I know enough to know that that kind of destiny is well beyond my small sphere of abilities. Let Ghandi be the sequoia. Let Mother Theresa be the oak. Let Clueless Wonder be the zucchini. I’m the one you can’t cut down with an axe.

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Footnote:
I feel compelled to add this, though I don’t want to make it a new entry under today’s date. I do not like the tree astrology. It was nearly enough to make me change my mind about what tree I am. The tree astrology site doesn’t understand a thing about trees. I have no idea how it figures that hornbeam equates with “cool beauty” and “seldom trusts its feelings”. I encourage everyone to have fun with the site, but I need to stress that I did not find my tree from this site. Indeed, I nearly lost my tree to this site.