It is what it is.

Weird and bad week. The new job is stressful (I have a new appreciation for the foot-soldiers out there in the world of retail and commerce). The loss of Warrior Princess weighs heavily on me. Friends are troubled, and I cannot help. The Prof is reluctantly in his state of origin for a visit with family that has him stressed, and the nightly phone calls do not make up for a shoulder to cry on and a friend to talk to.

I didn’t write about it when it happened, but the Younger Sister said something to me in June at my birthday celebration that hurt to the core. She apologized after for how she said it, but effectively evaded apologizing for what she said. It’s happened many times before, throughout my life. Since we were kids she’s believed in do what you want and then ask forgiveness; it’s always OK so long as you say you’re sorry. It’s taken half a century, but the approach has finally completely cracked for me. I haven’t been able to get over being angry, and it galls me that at our inevitable next meeting she won’t even remember what it is that got me upset. I suppose the whole thing is stupid in retrospect, but I can’t let it go.

I was explaining how if I’d been able to get a job while on unemployment I could have earned a certain level of income without a drop in my compensation. However, a neighbor of mine discovered that if she took temp work for the seasonal holidays and then was let go afterwards, her unemployment compensation was recalculated based on her most current earned income (which was a pittance compared to her previous employed income) and her compensation was severely cut. The sister in question, who is a self-proclaimed expert in all things employment related, said that my neighbor was lying, and that I was wrong. Her next comment addressed the fact that I could earn some income without a drop in my unemployment; verbatim “I’m paying for this?”

Yup, little sis. You are paying so that people who cannot find work and whose incomes have dropped to a quarter of what they originally earned can try to earn a little extra money while they search for a job they have trained and are better qualified for. Frankly, I was too stunned to respond.

As I said, she apologized in private a short while later for how she phrased her very public ejaculation, but when I made the comment “Well, if that’s how you feel…” in response all she did was give me a hug, which I failed to return. She was satisfied that all was returned to happy-happy-joy-joy-land afterwards. I started plotting how long I’d have to wait to develop a headache and move to go home early.

Now her birthday approaches, and Elder Sister has spent several hundred dollars on presents for her. At the moment I can afford to shell out about ten bucks on her, and that’s if I go without lunch for a week.

Screw this.