Dental-Phobe

OK, major admission time. I’m a dental phobic. As in the very thought of having to go to a dentist makes me get sick to my stomach, keeps me awake nights, and does fascinating things to my lower GI tract. It feels stupid to admit it, because I *know* there is absolutely no rational reason for it. I know this is stupid. But I keep managing to put off going to the dentist. The longer I put it off, the easier it is to keep putting it off.

Now, I’m not stupid, even if my situation is. I have enough medical education (even if it is about horse and dog teeth) to know in detail exactly how much worse I’m making things for myself. I’m not in a bad financial state, although if I go and they find some major work that needs doing I’m going to end up in debt over it. I even have modest dental insurance at work that will help with expenses. I can offer no explanation except that even thinking about making an appointment makes my hands go numb.

The Professor, with his new full-time status, finally has decent benefits. One of the things he immediately did was make himself a dental appointment, so he can take advantage of his dental coverage now in case they don’t extend his full time status through next semester. He started asking questions about my dental history, and found out that it’s been years since I’ve gone to the dentist. And he’s been badgering me (in a kindly way) since he found out for me to make an appointment.

He hit me with it again this weekend, while we were out eating. Only this time he held his ground. And I got defensive, with no defenses to bring to play. So I got mean, and pointed out a couple of his phobias, which have nothing to do with anything, but were a sure fire way of redirecting the discussion. One of the things I brought up has been a major unspoken sore point with me for a while, and I know it stung him when I hit him with it. He’s still hurt and upset from it. And I’m not sure how to do damage control at this point. But I know I need to get a grip on this now.

I did some research on the net this afternoon. Found a dentist specializing in dental phobics about an hour from me. It would mean taking a day off of work. Several days, in fact, since the first visit would just be a fact gathering visit for him. I don’t even know if he’d be willing to take me, with my medical history. I’m already coming up with reasons not to call this guy’s office. He doesn’t have Tuesday afternoon hours, so I’m off the hook now. I get to stew about this all night.

This is asinine.