Virtual misunderstandings.

I feel the need to justify some actions I took last night. Which leaves me in a quandary, because I have a reader who is directly involved in the actions I took. By putting this in my Diary, others who know this person might be able to identify him. Is that a breech of confidence?

Humor on the web is a tenuous thing. I suppose that’s why the emoticons I so love to hate were invented.

“You are such an idiot!” comes across quite differently than “You are such an idiot! :)”.

After a while, when I get to know something about the typist on the other end of the miles of computer cable, emoticons become superfluous. I know the person, their character and their intents. When they say “You are such an idiot” I know I can freely respond with “I only *act* that way so you don’t feel so alone”, secure in the knowledge that I haven’t started a flame war.

Sometimes I get to know a person rapidly, and can trade insults and candid opinions quite freely within a short period of time. Other people I’ve never gotten to that point with, either because they are more sensitive, or more eager to pick fights, or less able to express themselves in writing.

Or sometimes it’s because the other person elects to remain ambiguous. They go out of their way to be inscrutable and reveal little information about themselves. I find myself assigning motivations to them, because they will attribute none to themselves. Sometimes, I guess wrong.

I guessed wrong last night. I guessed wrong because this person sent me an absolutely deadpan e-mail that was supposed to be a joke. I had already noted activities that lent some credibility to the email so it didn’t occur to me to not to take what was written at face value. A different person made the same request of me months ago. That time the request was absolutely serious, which lent additional credibility to the request this email contained. I must say that the first time I got this request it was made far more cordially than the “joke” email I got yesterday, though.

I sent off a terse reply saying I had no intention of doing what was asked. A response came back saying it was a joke and the writer never really meant it. The whole episode has left me unsettled.

How was I supposed to know it was a joke? This jokester sent me another (I assume serious) email earlier in the day, which I compared to the joke email. They were written in the same tone, the same way. Am I now supposed to feel guilty because I told this person what they could do with their request in rather blunt terms? Because I do, and yet I perversely resent feeling guilty.

Is it possible to make friends with shadows? Can you ever trust electrons? Am I so lonely that I invent imaginary friends out of cyber-plasm?

There are days when I truly believe I need to get a life.