An unexpected turn.

Not particularly flattering, eh? Ah well, I’ll take “apple” over “banana” any day of the week.

Finally heard from The Professor, who made a quick pass through cyberspace last night. He found a way to download one of the digital pictures from his camera onto the net (don’t ask me how; I didn’t think he brought any of the hardware or software for doing that with him on the trip).

He also left me a message that his grandfather is in the hospital, although I suspect it is only temporary. The Prof took him to his chemotherapy treatment yesterday, but when they started administering the drugs his grandfather started having heart fibrillations, so they immediately stopped and admitted him for observation. Colonel Grandfather isn’t handling things well, and the upset is spilling over to The Prof, who doesn’t know how to deal with his grandfather’s emotions nor his own emotions. I don’t think that the situation at present is serious, but if The Prof’s grandfather continues to be unable to tolerate the chemotherapy, there will be realities that have to be faced.

An emotionally remote grandfather in denial, facing mortality for the last time. An adopted son, who is far more like his grandfather than he’d ever care to admit, in denial, facing mortality for the first time. It’s a story older than recorded history. But for all the times it has been played out over the course of human events, I don’t think anyone has ever come up with any answers to help the grieving. I hope these two men find a way to make a connection while they still have the time.

And there I am, an outsider privy to the proceedings but not really part of them. It drives home why Colonel Grandfather wants us to move out there and in with them so badly. The Prof said that while he was in the hospital his grandfather kept asking who’d take care of his wife, who would look after Grandmother. I do not doubt that the man is upset, but there remains a component of manipulation in this. Which makes it all the harder for the Professor.

For my own part, I feel caught in the middle. I have tons of good advice to dispense, but this is not a situation where advice is necessarily appropriate. I did not grow up with Colonel Grandfather as my father. My childhood was not the Professor’s childhood, and my relationship with my father is not necessarily analogous to The Prof and Colonel Grandfather. My role might be the easiest of anyone’s, but it’s still hard. Be there, offer a listening ear and compassion, and keep my opinions to myself.

I hate keeping my opinions to myself.