Another reason to like cats.

I have an ongoing battle concerning the thermostat in my office. To understand my dilemma, you must first understand that my office area is in a small building that is disconnected from the main office area of my company. My domain is small – three offices and a conference room. Until a year or so ago, it was mine exclusively, which made for quiet and productive days. My duties were expanded though, and I was granted a Minion to assist me, who subsequently occupied one of the empty offices next to mine. Then, late last year, my company developed a new position, hired a person for it, and installed her in the other remaining office in my formerly fine and private place. The Mouth, as I may have referred to her once or twice, has a rather disconcerting habit of wandering into my office with the babble switch set to “On” and the content switch set to “Off”. My fine and quiet place was officially no longer fine, nor quiet.

All of which leads back to the Thermostat Wars. The heat pump is located in my office. So is the thermostat for said heat pump. This never used to be a problem. I set the temperature for something comfortable to me, and the world was a nice place in which to live. The Minion is only intermittently in his office, so he has historically had little to say about the thermostat settings. The Mouth, however, is another story.

I fully appreciate that the thermostat must be bumped up or down a bit to compensate for additional bodies in the building. What becomes difficult is the fact that The Mouth likes it frigid in the office, while I like it somewhat warmer. In order to get frigid temperatures in her office, it is necessary for my own office to approach absolute zero. This is emphatically not conducive to productive work habits, although it does lead to increased coffee consumption (it helps warm up the fingers if you have a hot mug to hold). Rgardless, she and I have set up a mutual accomodation where neither of us is truly comfortable, but neither of us is in physical pain either.

The biggest problem however is the aforementioned conference room, located at the opposite end of my small building. It too is dependent upon the heat pump in my office, and heating/cooling that room requires that my office be at an extreme of temperatures. Since the conference room is seldom used, I am of the personal opinion that those occupying it should sit, suffer, get their work done and get back to their own offices (which are far better appointed and comfier than my own). The occupants of the conference room have had differing opinions on this, leading me to the necessity of hiding the key to the thermostat under Dr. Potatohead’s cap. This ensures that the occupants of the conference room ask about resetting the thermostat, and that I get a chance to set it back to a more reasonable setting as soon as possible after they leave.

I discovered two weeks ago that the thermostat mounting was loose, and that the thermostat could be knocked askew on the wall, affecting the settings. I fixed this by setting two thumbtacks under the thermostat to hold it at a level position, and then put a post-it note on the thermostat:

To Whom It May Concern:

The tack pins under the thermostat box are there to keep it level. Please ensure that the termostat is level against these pins when you are done adjusting the settings, or you won’t get the termperature you were aiming for. Thanks. — The Vet

Keep in mind, this is in my office, which should be relatively private anyhow.

Last week I sat shivering at my desk when I noticed that the thermostat appeared to be tilted, even though it was firmly set against the tack pins as I had arranged. I got up to investigate, and discovered that someone had removed the tack pins, tilted the thermostat, and then reinserted the pins at the new, lower position. I removed the tack pins, replaced the box to its proper position, inserted a dozen additional pins and appended a new note to the thermostat:

Message received and the respect accorded me noted.

I’m fairly sure I know who is playing games with the thermostat, and it is neither the Minion nor the Mouth, but rather someone who uses the conference room twice a month for an hour each time. I haven’t decided what temperature the conference room will be the next time they meet, but I have decided that whatever the temperature of the conference room, my office will be comfortable.