Unexpected kindnesses and other things.

Wednesday. Humpday. Halfway between here and there. An otherwise unremarkable day.

I’m going into work later now – I’m at my desk at about 8:00 each day. I was hoping this would make for more endurable days, but I’m now finding myself nodding off at my desk at about 2:00 in the afternoon. So far I’ve been able to fight it off, but I know that sleep is going to successfully overcome me one of these days. I only hope I don’t get caught.

I was talking with The Bossman’s secretary Monday regarding how difficult it has been for me to find clothes that fit. Yesterday she came into work with a huge handled shopping bag full of tops. Maternity tops. I took them home, tried them on, and damned if they don’t fit! They’re the first truly comfortable clothes I’ve had on in months. The downside, of course, is that I do look pregnant when wearing them, but they’re so damned comfortable I can even get past that. Today I brought in a small colorful arrangement of flowers for her desk to thank her. She gave me a good strong hug and told me she loved me. I’m not a huggy-touchy-feely, let’s-express-our-emotions person, but my eyes welled up. I even hugged her back. People have been so good to me.

Turning to the ambiguous side of life, I’ve discovered in the past two days that a decision I took a lot of flack about some months ago turns out to have been perfectly justified. I’m not surprised, but I don’t feel particularly vindicated. I just feel sad. I really would have liked to be wrong. In a related matter, another decision I made mid-summer in an attempt to assuage the guilt I’d been feeling over the first decision has come back to bite me in the ass. I suppose you could call it a case of “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” I’ve taken a small step that is probably more retribution than it is corrective action, but even as an act of retribution it’s pretty feeble and will probably never be noticed. All that remains is to remind myself that trust can’t be forced and that sometimes gut instincts are good. I’ll haul myself off and sit in the corner with my dunce-hat now.

Meanwhile, I think I’m getting a cold. My temp is 100.5, I’ve got a cough that won’t quit, and my head aches. I think this chick is going to bed. She might not even go into work tomorrow, if the temp doesn’t go down.