Farewell to Turtles

Home sick today.

Yesterday I had a 2:15 appointment to see Dr. Liver. It would have been my first visit with him post-transplant. While driving to his office, I developed a headache. It was minor at first, but it kept growing. I arrived at his office, waited in line at check-in, and was greeted with “I’m sorry, but he’s been called out to the hospital for an emergency. We tried to get you at both numbers we have for you, and left messages for you.”

Unfortunately, it takes me over an hour to get to Dr. Liver’s office. So by the time they’d called I was already on the road. I asked if there was any chance I could catch him if I just hung around the waiting room, but they held out little hope. So I made a new appointment. The first one they had available was December second. The way I feel now, I’ll be dead by then.

I headed back to the car and debated whether or not to return to work or just go home. A few minutes of driving decided things for me. The headache was worse, and I was suddenly overcome with a need to sleep. It wasn’t a particularly bright day, but it was too bright for my eyes, and I lowered the visors on both sides of the car. And then I started yawning.

I don’t know if it’s idiosyncratic with me, or if others do this also. I’m not referring to normal, once every couple of minutes yawning. I’m talking about yawns where the next one starts about two seconds after the last one ends. I’m talking about yawning as a way of breathing. This happens with me only when I’m about to get sick to my stomach. It usually happens well before the actual feeling of nausea sets in. There are times I don’t even get the nausea, but go straight from yawning to vomitting. I’ve done this since I was a kid.

Anyhow, I was back to back yawns, squinting at the light, trying to stay awake, with my head threatening to explode through both my eyes. I decided to head home. I felt feverish, but I took my temperature several times on the way home and it never read higher than 98.1 (yes, I have to carry a thermometer in my purse nowadays, and strangely enough, my normal temp after the transplant has run about 97.7). About halfway home, I was trying to think of anywhere closer I could stop. But it was midafternoon, and everyone I knew was still in work. So I forged on ahead.

It was probably one of the more stupid things I’ve ever done in my life, but all I can say in my own defense was that I wasn’t thinking clearly at the time. I don’t know how I made it home without causing an accident, but I did eventually pull safely into my own parking space. I didn’t pick up the news paper, I didn’t get the mail from the floor, I didn’t feed the cats, I didn’t take my clothes off. I took my temperature, set the alarm clock for 4:30, and crawled into bed.

About half an hour later I woke up with the certain knowledge that I had to get to the bathroom NOW. I made it barely in time to ensure the remains of my lunch hit the bowl and not the floor. I stumbled back to bed, with another bathroom call about fifteen minutes later.

Four thirty came, and I had to drag myself out of bed. The people who were going to give Vogie (my turtle) her new home were slated to arrive that evening, sometime after six, and I had to drain her tank and clean things up for them. I felt ridiculous having to glove and mask to handle the turtle I’d owned for over a decade, but glove and mask I did. Frankly, I didn’t make a tremendous job of cleaning, but everything was dry, boxed, and ready to go. My original plans were to take some final pictures of Vog before she left me, but I couldn’t do it. I crawled onto the sofa, and went to sleep.

Seven o’clock the door knocker awoke me. I have a feeling I didn’t exactly impress the very competent and efficient lady who came with her ten-ish year old son to pick up Voglinde. Vogie was swept out of my life more quickly than I’d realized she’d be, and I felt too sick to care about it. The said their good-buys and thank-yous and left, and I crawled back into bed.

I crawled out of bed this morning long enough to call in sick. I’m feeling better than I did yesterday, but it still hurts to look at this monitor, and I don’t do well if I turn my head too quickly.

I’m freaking tired of being sick. I just want to be normal again.