Where was the editor?
I hate getting those cutesy mail-it-to-everbody joke emails. As a rule, I don’t send them, and I seldom read them. I have a friend, who I otherwise think very highly of, who includes me on his mass-emailing list of jokes. He’ll send out three or four of these a week, and each email may contain three or more jokes in it. I haven’t the heart to make him stop, because he’s doing it with the best of intentions. It does tend to fill my in-bin rapidly.
He does sometimes hit paydirt though. I received this list from him a few days ago. I suspect that most of these really are actual headlines – I know I saw at least two of them myself. I can’t vouch for whether they are all real, or whether they were all from 2003. It’s still a wonderful object lesson in paying attention to what slips from your fingers, regardless of veracity.
CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR’S DAUGHTER
SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS
IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
IF STRIKE ISN’T SETTLED QUICKLY. IT MAY LAST A WHILE
COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES
TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD
MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE
NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP
ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT
KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS
CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY
LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF
HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS
Funny headlines. I rarely send out anything that was forwarded to me. But I did send you the eye test last night. (Made you growl twice,,,lol.)
I hope your kidneys are doing fine and that the test was a fluke. You have been through enough for 2 or 3 people.
ha! those were fun to read.
thanks for the chuckle with the headlines. Some of them definitely fall into the duh category, while others are definitely DOH!
Alli
I love those headlines.
I think the newspaper people let them slip by for fun.
As for kidneys, I’ll hazard a guess that it is the triamterene.
I DO think you should talk to Dr.Liver.
Did I stress that you should speak with Dr.Liver?
I agree with StrangeBrew. Talk to Dr, Liver.
Ah, Kohl’s. The wonderful place of my employ. I’m sure I could do slightly more damage with a Kohl’s charge, since I get a discount. (Well, only for another month, then I don’t get one until I work again).
It’s good the Socialist is back – safe and sound, and bearing gifts.
Sorry to hear about your levels not behaving – probably good to get Liver Doctor’s input.
With the Socialist back, i suppose we can all stop worrying about your descent into madness…
; )
i agree, the headlines were VERY funny…
Also, yes, talk to the doctor.
Ahh yes a camel pack…ummm…in my cleaning frenzy I threw away a small white cap. It looked like trash to me. Last night I had to buy my son a new bladder for his camel pack…ooops!!
May you find many adventures to take the camel pack on!
~QE