“Kick Me”

You know that plan to stick it out for at work for two years I mentioned in my last entry? I’m re-evaluating. I got the schedule for the next four weeks that afternoon. After next week, I’ve been cut back to two eight-hour shifts per week. No notice, no explanation, no nothing. When I approached my supervisor, she said we’d talk, but she didn’t have time on Thursday. She’d be back on Friday and she’d make time for me then. She did come in on Friday, even though it showed as a vacation day on her schedule, but she didn’t make time for me. I went looking for her twice, with no luck.

They’ve never told me that I was doing a poor job; in fact a couple of weeks ago the supervisor told me she was pleased with my work. They did hire someone new to replace the girl who quit (again, see last entry), and the first two weeks for her are 40-hour weeks while she trains, so that explains why some of my hours are curtailed. It doesn’t explain why I don’t get the hours back after she’s done training.

When I was a child, I remember complaining about something to my mother. At one point she stopped me and asked, “Does this happen to anybody else?” I thought, and said that no, it didn’t. She then said,”Then look at what you’re doing. If this is unique to you, then it’s in response to something you are doing differently than everybody else.” It felt a little harsh at the time (nobody likes to think a situation is their fault) but I’ve remembered her response, and it is usually truer than not.

So what the frack am I doing wrong in my work life? I show up on time, I spend my time at work doing my job, I don’t socialize during paid time, people like me, the pharmacists seek me out when they need someone to do something for them, I let people trade hours with me even at the last minute whenever possible, … in short, I’ve tried to be an exemplary employee. I’m not perfect, but I don’t duck my mistakes and so far I haven’t made the same mistake twice. I feel like someone stuck a “Kick Me” sign on my back and the world is now using that to take pot-shots at me.

There’s a little corner cafe that opened in my town a year or so ago. It’s a bakery with a limited breakfast and lunch menu. They took over a vacant bank building, brick with large plate glass window overlooking Main Street. The managed to defeat the odds, and have been doing rather well since they opened. I’d gone there sporadically since they opened, but after I started at this new job I was stopping by for breakfast or lunch once or twice a week (my usual 3:30 to midnight shifts made this routine practical).

While I don’t usually go on weekends, I decided on a whim to stop in this morning. It was one of those “I feel sorry for myself so I’m going to treat myself” moments. When I walked in the door the two girls who waitress looked at each other and said, “Oh good, she’s here!” I immediately thought back to when I’d last come, Tuesday morning, to mentally checking to see if I’d left anything behind.

One of the girls said, “We’ve got some bad news for you.” I must have given her the deer-in-the-headlights look, because she then added, “Sit down first, and then we’ll tell you.” I sat down.

The long and the short of it is that next Saturday is their last day of business. It isn’t a financial thing; they’re doing well. The owner, who is the baker, had this cafe as her life-long dream. She named it after her grandmother, who taught her how to bake. She poured sweat and energy into the place to make it what it’s become. And now she realizes that this isn’t what she expected it to be. She loves to bake, but she hates running a bakery/cafe and she wants out. It’s as sensible a reason to close as I’ve heard yet, but it’s just another “Kick Me” in a long line of “Kick Me’s”. Not only have Iost half my hours at work, but I’ve lost my favorite retreat. Again. I thought I’d finally found something to replace the tearoom that closed a couple of years ago. Silly me.

At least there is no way I can find a way to assume blame for this one.