Decisions, Decisions …

I got an interesting note yesterday from the virtual/real-life friend who spotted my diary over here. He believed I had started a new diary over here and wanted to know if I’d let him read it.

As some of you may recall, his discovery of my diary over here on DD was what prompted me to put the entire diary on “Private”. Even now, most of my diary entries are set to “private”. The e-mail yesterday prompted me to really think about why I’ve set this diary up in the first place, though.

I thought I had good reasons. It seemed like I was taking without giving whan I read other people’s diaries and left comments without giving them a chance to read my own. And I wanted to set something up for myself that would encourage me to write every day, since that is the road that leads to strong writing skills and encourages creativity. Upon reflection, however, those aren’t the main reasons that I set up this diary.

I’m lonely, often to the point of being miserable. I wanted to make my niche here, find a way to become a part of the lives of the people who leave pieces of themselves and their lives on this site. I wanted to have some honest discourse about my life and my opinions, without having to deal with the ramifications of hurting the feelings of people close to me in real life. I wanted to belong.

Well, if that’s what I wanted then why am I afraid of somebody from my real life finding this place? No wonder I’m lonely. I find a real-life friend who’s taken an interest in the on-line diary, and I panic. Stupid, Salamander, very stupid.

So OK, Man-who-uses-forty-foot-ladders-to-hang-bird-houses. I’m removing the “private” settings. All I ask is that you don’t tell anybody except Woman-who-hates-scorpions-and-termites about this place. Let others discover it, or not, on their own. Feel free to make observations, wise-cracks, critiques, or just lurk. It’s really OK with me.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some settings to unset.