Gravity Assist Psychic Osmosis

Alli:

The phenomenon you refer to is called GAPO. It won’t work if you put the book under your pillow. If you put the book under your pillow, then all the facts related to that book get sucked out of your head and into the book.

What you need to do is open the book, put the open book over your head, and then sleep that way. The facts in the book leach out of the pages into your head. While this process also works with the book closed, the covers of the book slow down the osmosis process, so you don’t learn as quickly. Besides, an open book is easier to balance than a closed book.

My fellow students and I discussed this thoroughly during veterinary school. There were many experiments performed in an attempt to verify and quantify this phenomenon, but as yet it is still a virgin science, with few practitioners. You’ll even find nay-sayers out there who claim that you need to bore an opening into your cranium in order for this to work.

At least, that’s what I think they mean when they say you have to have a hole in your head to believe this.

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17 Comments

  1. Cool news on the cell phone! We are at the point where we need to replace ours. It has been dropped so many times that the battery only stays on if you forcibly hold it on. Not too good for receiving phone calls when you are out and about! I think I may look into that insurance when we replace it.

    Alli

  2. I actually don’t mind being in a study group where I have to "teach" the things the other students don’t get. It helps me to learn and retain the information better.

    However, (there’s always one, isn’t there) I do prefer to have the other members of the group at least have a handle on what is going on. It helps me when there are items I’m totally clueless on.

    I’m just hoping that if I start sleeping with my calculus book under my pillow, I will come to understand integrals.

    I can hope can’t I?

    Alli

  3. So THATS what I’m doing wrong! I’ll have to give it a try when I go back to bed. I’ll put it on the side of my head to the information can seep in through my ear. Might as well use an existing hole in my head rather than bore a new one!

    Alli

  4. Oh ye of little faith!

    Book Osmosis is a very exact science. There are charts and graphs available that document with precision just how much and at what rate information is transfered.

    You can find them published in the Exact Science Journals. Any issue. (They are listed in the back with the ads for Sea Monkeys).

    There is however one book that seems to defy the normal rules and will not trasfer one bit of information. That book is Ulysses by James Joyce.

    (Although some have postulated that there IS no information to transfer from that book. But I find that a little mean spirited on their part don’t you?)

    Y.

  5. YOU CRACK ME UP!!

    On GAPO: So THAT’S how I got through high school. I’ve been thinking for a while that the level of education in my country can’t be as great as it’s cracked up to be ’cause I graduated from HS with… with decent grades!

  6. Alright, what a score learning that you had cell phone insurance! If you did indeed lose your phone in the restaurant that fact that no calls have been made is rather amazing.

    Re book osmosis, been there, tried that in every position.

  7. Glad to hear you had the cell phone insurance. I have it on mine too, which is a Good Thing. I had to replace mine recently and I got one of the little motorola flip jobbies and I love it. The only thing was, it cost me $80 above and beyond the insurance for the upgrade (not too terrible considering it was a $400 phone) and well worth it to me as I detested my other phone with a flaming passion.

  8. well i think the Duck wud look very fetching with a nice wig of..hair. maybe i cud do a little trade and stick feathers on my head. but then agen trading wud defeat the whole object of cutting my hair off beacuse of corse the whole idea was to raise money 4 that cd. oh and a new fone.

  9. well i think the Duck wud look very fetching with a nice wig of..hair. maybe i cud do a little trade and stick feathers on my head. but then agen trading wud defeat the whole object of cutting my hair off beacuse of corse the whole idea was to raise money 4 that cd. oh and a new fone.

  10. Intriguing to read about the *Open Book Learning*, hehehe

    By the way, how apt is your word to describe dogs – *stoic* – that’s so true! Yes, sometimes I wish they could talk, but at others I already know what they’re saying – "Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme…"etc

  11. Cell phones? We have one that’s about 4 years old and when you talk on it for more than five minutes it warms up the whole side of your face. My initial reaction was that there’s something dangerous about that, but its awful handy when your standing outside in the dead of winter. (I’ve actually thought of holding a packet of hotdogs next to the mouthpiece and seeing if I couldn’t cook myself some lunch.)

    Have you seen those cellphones with the little color screens on them? Those are kind of neat.

  12. People always MARCH products back into the stores where they were purchased :)…I’ve often thought that cellphones, parked cars, children, keys should have some sort of homing device embedded into them, so that they’d come to ME when I pressed a button. Forget that "beep’n’find me" jazz.

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