Phospho-soda, movies, and KfH.

So, shellybien, you really want to know what Phospho-soda is? That evil concoction is a laxative that works by osmosis – it causes water to be drawn into your colon from your body. It is powerful, it is effective, it is efficient, it is enough to make you wish you were dead about an hour after taking it at the dosages I had to take it at. One thing was certain, though. Come last Friday’s test, I was squeaky clean for the doctors, outside and inside.

They didn’t find anything definitive, but there was generalized inflamation all along the colon, for as far as they could see. They took a couple of biopsies, the results of which I won’t have for a week, give or take. It’s gratifying to know that there was something they could actually see, proving that this isn’t all in my head. It’s exasperating that I may not get a clear diagnosis on what’s going on though, even after the biopsy results. No point in worrying about that until it happens though.

I was under a general anaesthetic during the procedure Friday, and spent Friday night well into Saturday sleeping it off. The Professor and I took it easy over the weekend, and did little more than some light shopping and watch videos. We rented and watched “The Maltese Falcon” (my choice), some movie that I simply can’t remember what it was now (his choice), “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” (my choice) and “Contact” (his choice).

Saturday evening I did feel good enough to get my ass to the Y again. My favorite quad machine was down for repairs, so I replaced those sets with some arm/upper body stuff. Ugh. I’m hoping the quad machine is fixed today so I can ignore the upper body situation again for a while. I’m showing improvement on the aerobic situation – I have the treadmill going fast enough now for half an hour that I’d be breaking out into a trot if it were any faster. I have no intention of taking it above a fast walk for the time being though. I can maintain the cycle at 100 rpm’s for a half hour without too much difficulty as well, although the bikes get a bad vibration at around 80 which makes it rather uncomfortable.

And for those of you who wait for news of Kitten from Hell’s latest exploits, she continues to drive me bats. When I got up (very late) Saturday she had: stolen The Professor’s Chapstick from his desk and left it (relatively intact) under the dining room table, upset the trash can by my desk, stolen the gold ribbon bookmark out of one of the cookbooks in the kitchen and ripped it to shreds, found the bottle of Stridex pads that I purchased to treat the Clueless Wonder’s feline acne and left it under the desk, pulled several paperback books out of the bookshelves, and discovered the roll of toilet paper that had been accidentally left out by the bathroom sink and torn it to shreds. She also gave me a big scare – my coumadin vial was missing, and I couldn’t figure out what had happened to it.

Coumadin is, among other things the active ingredient in rat poison. I checked her over, and there were absolutely no signs that she’d eaten any. I still remember vividly what she did to the top of the Pounce can though. I do not believe that a child-proof cap would even slow her down. She must have stolen them out of the medicine cabinet and batted them about for a while, for I finally found them behind the small set of drawers in the bathroom that I keep fresh towels in. The coumadin was right next to the Tylenol (quite poisonous to cats) and next to a tube of toothpaste (flouride is poisonous to all animals, and KfH has already demonstated her willingness to chew on toothpaste tubes by stealing a sample sized tube my dentist gave me). The medicine cabinet has a slide door. KfH has already figured out push doors (bedroom) and slide doors (closet). Gods help me if she’s figured out how to open the medicine cabinet.

It’s really bugging me that I can’t remember the first movie that The Professor picked out over the weekend. They say the mind is the first to go, and apparently mine is right on schedule.