Exercise.

So, Slipperman, you want to know how I feel after I exercise? In a word, exhausted. Sweaty, sticky, smelly, painful, out-of-breath exhausted.

Part of it, I’m sure, is simply because I am out of shape. But even when I was doing 75 – 100 miles per week on my bike, I hated it. Whatever this mythical “runner’s high” high is, I’ve never experienced it. There’s no endorphine rush, no “second wind”, not even a momentary glow of satisfaction. After I finish a full one hour of a cardio workout, about all I feel is a need to call a cab because I’m not sure I can drive home safely.

Part of it (not to make excuses) is what I’m up against now. My illness stole perhaps a quarter of my lung field from me, give or take. I also have exercise induced asthma (controlled by medication). The missing hunk of the rectus muscle of my quadricepts in my right leg make my right foot turn out after about twenty minutes of exercise, making jogging impossible and brisk walking a pain in the butt. [I’m always afraid I’m going to trip on the treadmill and end up a spectacle in front of the others in the gym. I’ve seen it happen to others, and I’d rather avoid that embarrassment if at all possible.]

We won’t even get into what exercise does for my little lower bowel ailment.

Yes, I do it. I know I have to. I don’t mind the strengthening stuff so much, but that doesn’t help what needs helping. What I need is to keep my heart rate in the 130 beats per minute range for an hour. That means one hour of absolutely boring biking or stultifying walking (4.4 mph – any faster and I’d have to jog, and my leg won’t tolerate that) while the televisions blast some sports competition or another and the gorillas over at the bench press pose for the high school cheerleaders wearing their newest spandex creations.

I loathe exercise.

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14 Comments

  1. I’m taking the kids out of school early and we will be hitting the first showing of the day to (hopefully) avoid the crowds!

    Alli

  2. At least you’re honest about feeling horrible after a work-out. I’ll agree with you in saying that I, too, dread the torture sessions. Maybe there’s something wrong with us…

    Hope you find a babysitter for the kittens. Have you thought about a kennel, perhaps? I’m not too keen on the idea, but maybe there’s a decent one where you live. It sounds like you desperately need a break from everything.

    Good luck,

    Anne

  3. I actually tried to guess before I read the entry and i thought it was like new socks or something….teehee, but it’s even better! You got tickets!!! I don’t know when I’m going to be able to go! Lets just hope that I will be able to eventually…May the force be with you, especially after exercise. 😉

    Bethany

  4. AKA fireflyII. :o)

    I’m busying myself, making pretty backgrounds…

    What a life.

    If only I got paid.

    I’ve got 2 more in my back pocket when that one’s reign is over.

  5. Are you one of those who likes to read and can do so during cardio? Ive gone thru periods where I had to have a book to keep me interested and stay doing cardio long enough. But there is a guy I see in the gym regularly always with a book, he said one day "Are you here again to torture yourself?" while gritting his teeth. He said how much he despises the gym but its good for him so he must do it, but how he hates it. So you arent the only one. And then having a friend to go with really helps. But that is tough to find also. The days I have someone to talk to just fly by and I find more enjoyable. So um come to Cali and Ill go with? heehee

    Take care and hope your moving situation gets worked out.

  6. I feel your pain. I’m supposed to exercise, too. Specifically, lifting weights, which has to be even more boring than walking on a treadmill. I loathe exercise, too, so instead I work in the garden as much as I can. And to hell with the rest of it!

  7. But you still go to gym. I don’t, and I won’t. Unless I get to use some private gym. I hate it that the gyms are crowded with people. Even the thought of dragging my unfit self in front of the staring eyes, no thanks. LOL as if they all went to gym just to stare others. Anyway… I don’t go to gym.

    cur

  8. I hate it too. Excercise, that is. The only way I can tolerate it at all is to have some good fast music blaring at me. Have you tried using a walkman?

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