The weekend brought with it a modicum of reasurrance. The Socialist was attentive and solicitous, and I know he was trying to meet me far more than halfway on things. I’m still not sleeping, and this is not making me much fun to be around at the moment. I’d love to know why it is…
Illness takes its toll on even the best relationships. I am not the person I was this time last year. I don’t have the stamina I once did. I don’t have the patience I once did. I find that I often have less to talk about than I once did; it seems pointless somehow to…
My first flush of enthusiasm for the new sleeping pills has faded into a dull disappointment. Monday night’s miracle drug turned into Wednesday night’s drug of torture. Following directions, I took the sleeping pill about 9:30 last night. It is supposed to have a short period of onset, and they warn you not to take…
I just got off the phone with the liver transplant coordinator at my hospital. She wants me to come down for a full re-evaluation and work-up. She feels it would be to my advantage to put me on the “needs” list for livers. The “needs list” allocates livers that are less than prime to people…
My MELD score didn’t change. All this nausea, bathroom running, insomniac grief, and my MELD score didn’t change. I need to go out and hurt something.
Well, I dragged my little carcass back to work today. It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be; the sleeping pill didn’t knock me quite as unconscious has it did the night before, and I was already awake when the alarm went off this morning. Being awake does not equate to being competent,…
Last night I called and cancelled my seminar, called work to say I’d not be in at all, took my sleeping pill, and crashed. It felt so good I may just take another one tonight. I do plan to go to work tomorrow though. I have no further days off to take. Today was spent…
What a day. Three inches of snow, give or take, made an unseasonable and quite unwelcome appearance today. You don’t have to go more than ten or so minutes north of us to find areas afflicted with six inches, so I guess I shouldn’t complain too much. Why must it always snow on days I…
The Socialist wanted to know if I’d include a mention of last night in my diary. I explained that I keep those sort of memoirs in “private” entries. He seemed disappointed. So I figured I’d mention last night in a diary entry just for him. Not bad. Not bad at all. (grin)
Yesterday at work the nausea became so overwhelming that I had to leave early. That’s the first time I’ve had to leave work ill since all of this started, and I’m annoyed at myself for having ruined a perfect track record there. When I started doing my afternoon visits to the departments that I collect…